Turkey Sandwiches
by River's Dream
Summary: Why does John like his turkey sandwiches so much and where is he going? Finally finished!
1. Chapter 1

*Disclaimer. I do not own Atlantis or anything of the wonderful world of Stargate. I am merely borrowing the characters and will return when finished*

A.N. Thanks to renisanz for betaing. This was actually written before Mail Call was started but due to turnaround time and RL interruptions hasn't been posted until now. I will try as hard as possible to update both stories as regularly as possible. Thanks to all who read and double thanks to the people who have reviewed on Mail Call and Movie Night! You are amazing and have encouraged me so much. Now back to our story.

Elizabeth gratefully clutched her mug of tea, savouring its warmth in the slight damp and chill of a mid-morning in Atlantis' equivalent of autumn. It wasn't that Elizabeth minded the chill. No, compared to what they had recently endured a little chill was almost laughable. Still its warmth was comforting, reminding her that she was alive, her team was alive, and Atlantis was once again safe. With a contented sigh, Elizabeth continued watching the final clean-up and repair crews mill about the city, finally at rest after an excruciatingly long month. To think this entire fiasco had started as such a promising opportunity.

_Sixteen days prior._

"Dr. Weir? We are receiving a transmission through the gate. It's SGA-9's check-in."

"Patch it through please, Chuck," Elizabeth responded with a smile. SGA-9 were currently investigating the possibility of opening trade negotiations with a society the database analysts had recently discovered. According to SGA-9's initial transmission, a small, industrialized town had been located only 20 minutes from the gate. After evaluating the town's risk through preliminary recon, the team had been cautiously optimistic regarding potential trade options.

"Lt. Johnson, how are things over there. Are you playing nice with the locals?"

"Yes Ma'am, Dr. Weir!" The lieutenant replied enthusiastically "Ma'am, you would not believe the culture which has developed here. The locals are extremely friendly. We were welcomed in immediately, and trade negotiations have been proceeding better than either side could have anticipated. They've requested trade of cultural knowledge, as well as assistance in improving their electrical generation system and farming methods in return for a very fair share of this year's harvest. Seems they value knowledge quite heavily, which is a bonus for us, if I may say so. Overall, they are actually very similar to turn of the century North America."

"We've also been invited to stay for a harvest festival this evening, something to do with the planting and moon alignment or something. Sounds like it will be a great party, I mean, a wonderful opportunity to cement our negotiations and build relations between our peoples Dr. Weir. Permission for our team to extend the mission to the Vodeen home world?"

Elizabeth could practically hear the boyish grin and excitement in the lieutenant's voice. Not that she truly minded his enthusiasm. Johnson might be young (this was only his third mission as team leader) but he was gaining experience quickly, even if he did have a tendency to plough into things without looking at all the angles first. To be honest, Elizabeth had to admit friendly locals had been few and far between for the expedition following their introduction to the Athosians, and everyone knew the significance of a new and fair trading partner for the city.

"Have there been any concerns or indications that the Vodeen may be hiding anything, lieutenant?" At the Lieutenant's mention of a harvest celebration Elizabeth was suddenly flooded with disturbing images of another "peaceful" farming culture they had encountered in Pegasus. The last thing Atlantis needed was another Genii-like encounter.

"Well, Ma'am." The sergeant sounded more hesitant. "Our new gee... um _scientist_ has expressed concerned over some of the translations in the local temple he's been exploring but," and now the lieutenant sounded much more enthusiastic, "he's the first to admit that languages aren't his specialty. The locals assure us it's a very ancient dialect, easy to confuse, and no one has been able to speak or translate this particular variation in generations. The locals say their traditions indicate it's the story of the first harvest festival. Completely harmless stuff, . In my opinion, I think it's worth the risk."

"Alright Johnson, you have a go. Please remember to maintain regular check-ins. If your team is more than an hour late with any of our scheduled checks I will be sending SGA-1. That way you can explain to Colonel Sheppard and his team, personally, why you didn't maintain radio contact." Elizabeth smiled. The threat of sending SGA-1 through the wormhole had guaranteed more good behaviour from the other teams than any other ultimatum she had yet to uncover. Apparently just the thought of having to face an irritated McKay, a mothering Teyla, a disappointed Sheppard, and Ronan was enough that most teams reprioritized check-ins to the top of their list.

"Understood, Ma'am. Johnson out."

Elizabeth ended the transition. "Well that certainly sounds hopeful. What do you think, Chuck?"

Chuck, the Canadian gate technician was a quiet and underestimated soul (unless Canadian pride, hockey, or chocolate chip cookies were on the line) and also someone Elizabeth had come to value as a solid sounding board. Quickly realizing that Chuck was far more observant than he let on (_what was it with SG men and playing dumb_, Elizabeth fumed) and that he used his observational skills coupled with his position in the gate room to remain up-to-date and well informed on matters that would surprise even Dr. McKay. Elizabeth had found herself seeking out Chuck's unique perspective on more than one occasion lately.

"Well, Ma'am, it seems like your standard Pegasus situation to me."

"And translated that means?"

"Murphy's law meets 'if it's too good to be true it probably is.'" Chuck replied with a weary smile.

"I was afraid of that." With that Elizabeth retreated to her office to await the next check in.


	2. Chapter 2

*Disclaimer's still apply - see chapter 1*

A.N. Thanks to the amazing renisanz for being the beta on this. This story would be far less interesting without your guidance.

Elizabeth had been working hard in her office all afternoon. If you had asked she would have told you it was simply the never-ending paperwork that came with running an expedition to another galaxy. The expedition—on the other hand—knew that, in reality, she was vainly attempting to ease the growing anxiety regarding SGA-9's current mission. At the moment, there was still one hour before the team was due to check in and logic said they were probably enjoying the local festivities in their role as honoured guests. So why couldn't Elizabeth shake the feeling of impending doom?

Elizabeth looked around her office again, suddenly feeling like she was trapped in a cage. Maybe she should take a walk on the promenade to relax? That was it. She would go for a quick walk and be back in plenty of time for the check-in. Elizabeth had made it as far as the control room when the gate started to activate.

"Raising shield," Chuck calmly stated, putting down the coffee he had just started drinking.

Elizabeth anxiously looked towards the gate. "IDC?"

"We are receiving a transmission and IDC. It is SGA-9, Dr. Weir" Julie, a new British transfer, responded.

"Patch them through."

"Atlantis, lower the shield we're coming in hot. Wraith are on our tails and closing."

"Lieutenant Johnson, is the planet being culled?" Elizabeth asked.

"It's never that simple, Ma'am. Can we explain when we get back?" Johnson's voice sounded winded and was starting to crackle with interference.

"Of course, lieutenant. Chuck, lower the shield."

"Already done, Ma'am," Chuck replied. The entire gate room had gone to high alert. Marines now lined the gate room stairs, adding protection to the gate and incoming team. Technicians were literally buzzing around the control room checking monitors, rehashing transmissions, and re-examining sensor data. Elizabeth was also not the least surprised when she saw SGA-1 standing by, silently taking in the surrounding chaos and evaluating where their presence was most needed. Everyone on the expedition knew their jobs and were doing them with a skill and expertise that reassured Elizabeth as she helplessly watched on.

Moments later, a battered SGA-9 came crashing through the event horizon, wraith stunner's firing behind them and scorching the walls of the gate room.

"Raise shields!" Elizabeth shouted.

SGA-9 glanced behind them as the impending wraith stunners connected with the newly raised shield and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Lieutenant Johnson, what's your team's status?" Col. Sheppard barked out, making his presence known to the rest of the room.

"Cuts and scrapes mostly, sir," the weary lieutenant responded, on the verge of collapse.

"I want all of you to report to the infirmary for your post mission check immediately. Briefing with myself and Dr. Weir in 30. I want to know what in the hell happened on that planet!" Sheppard snapped.

With a weary nod, SGA-9 allowed the Atlantis medics to lead them to the infirmary, their adrenaline finally having run out.

Elizabeth shook her head at the memories and went to get a refill on her tea. To think in a matter of hours things had changed so drastically, such was the nature of life in Pegasus. Lieutenant Johnson had arrived at the briefing room 25 minutes later. He looked as though he were preparing himself for battle as he recounted the mission's last hours to Elizabeth and SGA- back Elizabeth realised that's exactly what the Lieutenant had been doing. Elizabeth paused briefly, once again recalling Lieutenant Johnson's rigid posture and haunted eyes as he recounted his team's experience.

The harvest festival had started like any other festival the Lantean teams had participated in during prior missions. Beginning during a large, delicious afternoon meal, the celebration had been marked by food, fun, and an abundance of tiandra leaf wine, the local equivalent of moonshine. With SGA-9 holding the role of honoured guests, the entire team had been introduced to much of the town's population, enjoying the atmosphere, and thanking their lucky stars to have found a sane ally at last. The entire team, that is, except their scientist Dr. Creighton.

In what turned out to be the biggest blessing of the night, the good doctor could simply not let go of the mysterious writings he had uncovered in the temple. As a result, he had requested aid from one of Atlantis' linguists, a Dr. Rachel Eason. The two had decided to forego the party spending their time working feverishly on the translation, citing a low tolerance to alcohol (and a preference of each other's company) as an excuse to sneak away from the larger group. It was there, as the moon began to rise that the duo discovered the festivities true nature.

Many generations ago, not long after the evacuation of Atlantis. The wraith had begun a massive culling before returning to hibernation while their "livestock" repopulated. The Vodeen home world had been one of the most severely affected planets during these raids, losing 85% of the planet's population in 3 days. However, some of the cities had survived by proving their loyalty to their wraith captors. These survivors not only gave up their former trade partners providing gate addresses and ground intelligence, but they also gave evidence as to the Vodeen's role as double agents during the great war. Atlantis hadn't even realised her efforts were being hampered. Ever since that time the Vodeen home world had become a irrefutable haven for Wraith worshippers everywhere.

This transition from livestock to worshipper (or from sane to nut job, in John's opinion) was still marked every year through the Vodeen harvest festival. During the festivities, the honoured guests were offered to a Wraith contingent as a symbolical sacrifice before the Vodeen would join their 'gods' in the next round of cullings. If not for the quick thinking of Lieutenant Johnson and the persistence of the scientists SGA-9 would have become the next symbolic meal. Elizabeth shuddered at the thought.

Overall, SGA-9 had taken almost becoming wraith chow relatively well, and yes, that is what the team had written in their official report. (Elizabeth silently wondered if there was any way to temper John's influence on his men. The official reports were only getting more interesting as the expedition's length increased and SGC was starting to ask questions about all of the team's mental health, not just SGA-1).

Following the briefing, Elizabeth and John agreed that Atlantis should remain on high alert pending any possible retaliation from the Vodeen. Elizabeth surveyed the area and was content. Her men were safe, Atlantis had settled back into standard procedure, they were well protected, well supplied, and the tension had lessened. After today all Elizabeth wanted was a hot shower and a good night sleep.

John had to admit the hot shower and bed sounded like a great idea, an amazing idea. He too had been concerned for SGA-9 during the fiasco and had been off-world with his own team until mid-afternoon, leaving him tired but comfortably so. John, however, did not feel the same relief as Elizabeth. He knew the Vodeen's type, and people like that didn't usually take defeat well. In fact, it usually pissed them off. John wished Elizabeth a good night and went off to have his men check Atlantis' defences and prepare for the worst, hoping against all hope that he too would be allowed a few hours sleep before the night was over.

John would not be that lucky.


	3. Chapter 3

*Dislaimer, I own nothing, honest, Stargate and her people belong to those who created them and everyone who bought licensing, sadly not me*

A.N. – Thanks to Renisanz! Without your patient work, this would either be unreadable or sitting in an unmarked folder on my desktop. Thanks to all who read and review, you make my day! So, this was originally twice as long, however, to post as one means potentially waiting a few weeks until I settle after moving and regain internet. Hope you all enjoy.

At last, John had finally finished securing the armoury. While the city wasn't exactly up to Ft. Knox standards, Atlantis was ready to face any hostiles which managed to breach the city's first line of defence. John sighed in weary relief, feeling satisfied that he had done all that was humanly possible to prepare his city for the next imminent threat. Eagerly, he began the trek back to his quarters for a well deserved rest. As John made his way down the deserted hallway, his radio suddenly and unwelcomingly flared to life. With a half-hearted groan, John moved to respond.

"Excuse me, sir? Could you please make your way to the control room, umm, immediately?" called a polite yet strained, female voice.

"What's up, control room?" Really, was it such a crime to want to visit a warm bed and hot shower? John began to wonder who in the universe hated him this badly.

"I believe it would be most helpful, sir, if you were to come and witness the situation yourself."

"Sorry Colonel," interrupted Chuck. "It's her first week here. Sir, we've got a potential situation developing here that could really use your expertise. Dr. McKay has already been informed and is also making his way to the control room. The wormhole's being forced open. We think it may be the Vodeen."

At the mention of the Vodeen, John's adrenaline flared, propelling him to the nearest transport, and allowing him to make his way to the control room in record time. Upon his arrival John was only marginally surprised to see McKay had already arrived and was griping at anyone who had the misfortune of being within 10 feet of the disgruntled genius.

"What's the situation?" John smiled gratefully as a knowing Chuck slipped him a mug of fresh, hot coffee, even if he was almost immune to the caffeine, the warmth, now seeping into his hands, was a godsend.

"Well, Colonel, it would appear SGA-9's new friends took about as kindly to their timely exit as you hypothesised. At least, if your recent armoury check is any indication regarding your feelings. They've already held the gate open for the entire 38 minute window and successfully redialled before we could block them."

"They're smart Colonel and they have the wraith supporting them. Now, I realise we have a ZedPM that can power the shield for a few days if necessary, so we aren't completely defenceless, or at least as defenceless as this galaxy seems to enjoy leaving us. However . . ."

John recognized the symptoms as Rodney's rambling began to hit full blown panic, not that he could blame the scientist. John was pretty sure fighting intergalactic, alien vampires had not been on Rodney's to-do list when he joined the Stargate program. If he was fighting unease, he could only imagine what the civilians were dealing with.

"Rodney." John walked over to the anxious scientist hoping to ease the situation and allow McKay to refocus. "Let's just calm down. What can we do? What do we need to do?"

"Calm? We? Do?" Rodney's frantic pacing suddenly halted, as his face brightened and his fingers began snapping furiously "Right. Umm, Elizabeth needs to be informed A.S.A.P. We need to prepare the city for emergency operations. They wraith have ships, they could come and. . . ." Rodney began to lose focus again.

"Alrighty then. I'll get Ronan, Lorne, and Bates to start preparing teams and double checking city defences. Chuck. Would you be so kind and please alert Elizabeth as to the developing situation. New girl," John snapped his fingers trying to remember her name.

"Julie, Julie Kelsall sir. We've not yet had the pleasure of meeting." She gave a nervous smile at Sheppard's attempts to ease tension and focus the obviously scattered room of technicians.

"Pleasure to meet you then Julie. Could you please inform Dr. Beckett that we may have a situation starting up here and the infirmary needs to be prepped for the worst? Also, we'll need to inform the mess to start prepping a menu that can be easily served if we come to siege, using available supplies. Obviously supply runs won't be an option 'til we get this thing resolved. Rodney gather your scientists and see if you can figure out a way to get us our gate back."

"That sounds like a logical course of action Sheppard." Rodney straightened himself out and took a deep breath. "However, since you're ordering me around I shall return the favour. Actually, you'll do us all a favour. Use the cot in Elizabeth's office and take a nap! You look like death and I don't need Zombie Sheppard protecting me when this firefight decided to arrive. I'd prefer to keep all my limbs just the way they are thank you." And with that Rodney began organizing teams and plotting out the most efficient task list based on his new priorities.

"Glad to know you care, McKay. Wake me if anything, and I mean anything, changes¸ night y'all." John didn't really want to sleep but admitted that everything was under control, his services weren't directly needed, and sleep (which was definitely needed) may be hard to come by in the next few days.

John turned out to be only partially right. The next 3 days were relatively quiet, at least for him and the military section of the city. The Vodeen continued to isolate Atlantis by jamming the gate but otherwise the city was quiet, aside from ongoing battle preparations, like the calm before a storm. John's biggest challenge had been ensuring everyone continued to properly eat and sleep during the 72 hours. Lest they wore themselves out before the attack began in earnest.

On the fourth day following the Vodeen expedition, John awoke to a whole new world.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer * Still own nothing, this is purely for entertainment and personal sanity*

"Colonel Sheppard! Please report to the control room now!" John was once again reminded that waking up to a panicked McKay was not the most enjoyable experience on minimal sleep. Although, he did have to admit it was exceedingly effective.

"On my way, Rodney."

Throwing on a shirt, John literally ran to the control room grabbing, both Teyla and Ronon along the way. Together the trio made their way to an obviously stressed and exhausted McKay.

"This is bad. This is very bad, Sheppard." Rodney was pacing the control room, eyes glued to his laptop and as he reran data, alongside three other very tired scientists whose names temporarily eluded John.

"I agree, Rodney. My unease has been growing." Rodney and John both looked at Teyla following her comment.

"You can already feel them, Teyla? Crap, how many hiveships are in orbit, and why wasn't I told they were in sensor range?" Even though John knew ships were imminent, their actual arrival was still a bitter pill to swallow.

"No hiveships as of yet, Sheppard. Those are still on route, sensors estimate maybe 24 hours, if we're lucky. Hmm, us being lucky, wouldn't that be nice for a change?" Rodney snorted in mirthless laughter. "We have two ships which are currently 20 minutes outside of Lantean orbit and assumed Vodeen in design. Under closer examination they were found to possess Wraith elements. Probably due to their status as Wraith worshippers, and now, thanks to Teyla's little news flash, we can most likely assume that they brought along a couple of their Wraith buddies with this advance wave."

"We've put out an official call for aid, or I should say Elizabeth has, through the Daedalus. Thankfully, we were able to patch through and they put out the call through a nearby Stargate. However, until we get the gate resolved only the Athosians can actually make it to the city to be of any useful assistance. Even if the Vodeen worship a smaller Wraith faction, we are going to be seriously outnumbered and out powered when the party really gets going, Sheppard."

"We've faced worse odds, Rodney. When does the Daedalus get in?" John said, shaking his head.

"They're still roughly 30 hours out according to Hermiod's latest calculations; they fell behind while appealing for aid from our allies. We've requested that they attempt to get here sooner rather than later. If it's not too much trouble for them, you know."

"Where do we stand on our gate issues?" Sheppard asked.

Rodney visibly brightened at the question. "We've actually made excellent progress on that issue, major breakthroughs today even. My team estimates we will have full control of all gate operations by the end of today at the absolute latest."

"Good, that's obviously our first priority. With these enemy ships knocking down our door, it would be nice to have a proper welcoming committee to greet their arrival. Second, let's make sure the shield is up and running at the proper . . . efficiency? We still don't know what capabilities the Vodeen possess and I, for one, don't want to be caught off guard. Good work McKay, team."

"Thanks." With that Rodney grabbed a new cup of coffee and returned to his work.

With new focus and a glimmer of hope, John, Teyla, and Ronon left the control room to take up their battle positions. Teyla had agreed to lead a mixed team comprised of Athosians and Marines. John, as military commander, would be running wherever he was needed most during the siege and Ronon was always within six feet of Sheppard (confident in his commander's abilities but leery when it came to Sheppard's ability to stay out of trouble or take care of himself).

To everyone's surprise, the Vodeen ships arrived with little fanfare. Instead the enemy ships were content to maintain orbit, fire sporadic volleys at the shield, send unnerving transmissions (which Elizabeth eventually gave the order to start ignoring), and wait for their backup. To John's dismay the two Vodeen ships did, in fact, possess multiple fighters, once again stacking the odds against a mentally weary Atlantis.

Rodney, true to his word, broke through the Vodeen jamming frequencies and had the gate functioning after eight more hours of academic mumbo-jumbo and-let's be honest-some good old fashioned luck. By the time Rodney had returned from a "kindly suggested" nap (Rodney was still fuming over the "suggestion." Who was John to send Ronon, of all people, as a naptime enforcer!) Lantean allies had already started arriving within the city's parameters. All were grimly anxious in their upcoming quest to protect both their new friends and beloved city of the Ancestors. Rodney was beyond surprised to witness soldiers from the kiddie planet, more commonly referred to as M7G-67_7, _standing among the Marines, and even managed a small smile amid the chaos at the sight of a group loading weapons while sharing chocolate bars amongst themselves.

The real battle for Atlantis started on near the end of day four, with air battles lighting the sky and skirmishes marking the outer edges. Unbeknownst to the scientists (and much to Rodney and Zelenka's frustration, if the angry streams of Czech and scurrying underlings were any indication) the shield was no longer uniform in consistency. Over the years and due to the presence of only one functioning ZedPM, weak spots had developed on the underside of the city. Through submersible Vodeen shuttles and focus energy attacks on the weakened areas, small breaches had allowed for the entrance of enemy fighters into Atlantis' outer limits.

Rodney meanwhile, energized from his most recent nap and success with the gate issue, had marshalled the science teams, including the odd consult from Hermiod, and began to work tirelessly to wage war from a scientific angle. Together his team worked to fix shield coverage, maintain the overburdened primary systems, and rebuff the Vodeen hacking attempts all while attempting to utilize Atlantis's defences to their maximum efficiency in a franticeffort to conserve their recently acquired ZedPM. Although their position was less physically demanding, the scientists, too, could be seen working through the days and nights, similar to their military counterparts. On the few occasions Elizabeth stopped to check in with the central science hub in the control room, Elizabeth could often be spotted bringing McKay a sandwich or power bar, to keep his blood sugar in an acceptable range. She honestly never thought she would see the day when Rodney McKay was so busy he forgot to eat.

Thankfully, their hard work and sleepless hours were paying dividends. The shields were holding strong, energy was at peak efficiency for battle conditions (at least Elizabeth thought that was what Zelenka said, who knew the man subconsciously slipped into Czech when he was tired?) As she watched the scientists' success, Elizabeth swore that Atlantis had a soft spot for John and, by default, the team which protected him. It was like Atlantis knew her favourite son was in trouble and, as a result, was working magic for them: opening systems, illuminating fail safes, and revealing new safety features that caused the other scientists to salivate in envy at the new wealth of data, even in light of the obvious, surrounding danger.

While the scientists kept busy in the central tower, the physical fighting found itself divided between land and air. Up above, Colonel Caldwell, along with the Orion which appeared on day five only an hour after the two hive ships (apparently, and thankfully, the Vodeen had allied with a smaller Wraith faction) to the gratitude of everyone on the planet, waging an epic game of cat and mouse. The fighting above had quickly become fierce with John's worst fears being realised upon the launch of numerous, though thankfully in McKay's words 'pre-historic' Vodeen fighters joining their more advances Wraith counterparts. With an almost elegant choreography, consisting of attack, counter attack, retreat, repair, repeat, the air battle waged until day 7 when Novak and Hermiod (who had come to understand the value of self-preservation) came up with a combination of enhanced weaponry and the newly perfected missile transporting technique, effectively taking out the hive ships. The resulting explosions eliminated half of the Vodeen fleet, effectively ending the great air battle. The rest of the fleet, badly damaged and shaken by the decisive blow, retreated to their home world.

On the ground, things were just as brutal and nowhere near as clean but then, John thought, situations like this could rarely, if ever be considered clean. His men and their allies had fought hard for three days, stopping only to take quick naps and sustenance when Carson refused to administer any more stimulants. The enemy still came in waves.

John cringed in remembering the bodies of fallen marines and allies he had passed in the last 72 hours. No one had the time to move their bodies to the makeshift morgue, the wounded came first, survival was priority. The dead were patient, John thought grimly to himself. Through it all they had managed to keep the central tower secure but the cost was so had been high.

Teyla had gone down this morning. Man, that woman could fight, John thought admiringly. Teyla had been in the thick of it as much as he had and had the injuries to prove it. This morning in the midst of a violent encounter, she had taken a bullet in the left shoulder followed, only moments later, by a wraith stunner. John's team had come across the battle as it was winding down, finished off the remaining enemy soldiers, and took the wounded down to Carson's team themselves. John was stunned to realise that leaving the wounded Teyla, alone and unconscious, in triage had been his most difficult act since the attack had begun, even as he raced back into the fray.

Back in the present, Atlantis had seen her first glimmer of hope all week. Not even twenty minutes earlier, all fighting had temporarily halted when massive explosions rocked the Lantean sky. Within two minutes of the fireworks, confirmed kills on the wraith hives had come over the radios, bolstering the weary Lantean forces.

On a sad note, that meant their nasty pest infestation was trapped on Atlantis which usually means more desperate and dangerous opponents, not exactly what the doctor ordered. John and his shadow Ronon (both of whom also looked worse for wear. Ronon was fairly sure a concussion had been the unfortunately result of a prior skirmish and he knew he had heard at least one of John's bruised ribs crack yesterday. Only divine intervention had kept them from breaking entirely) were currently heading towards the central tower. Lorne had radioed in for assistance as the fighting continued to intensify while the retreating Vodeen/Wraith alliance attempting to make a kamikaze run for the gate. John wearily shook his head, grasped his sore ribs (which to be honest at this was blending into to the encompassing pain which he had once referred to as his body) and ran through the battered halls. As they ran John noticed the disarray that was once his beloved city. Blast marks scorched the walls with substances that John thought may be blood mingling in the ash. Holes, craters, and varying debris littered everywhere and every once in awhile a soldier with sightless eyes that bore straight through to John's soul.

"You still with me big guy?"

John wasn't so much asking for Ronon's whereabouts but trying to get a feel for the Satedan's wellbeing. The man had been closer than his actual shadow since this whole thing had started and John was grateful for the man's steady aid. However, that also meant that the Satedan had been through the same events and was running on the same amount of sleep as the weary CO, mix in the Satedan's injuries and John was becoming concerned.

"Yep," you could always count on Ronon for deep answers

"Alright, Rodney's just confirmed the transporter on this hall has been reactivated. We'll use it to transport to level two where Lorne's reported the last of the major skirmishes"

"Last? Already?'

"Yep, all remaining enemy soldiers are bunking down, finding places to lay low and regroup. Rodney's already got a team working on isolating their signatures in the sensor data, since they should be the dots all by their lonesome. Even with a sensory advantage, it'll still take days to clean this mess up entirely, though."

"Right"

"After we finish helping Lorne clean up his mess, Rodney wants me in the control room. Something about his needing my 'supergene' for some purpose, Atlantis being stubborn I think. To be honest, I'm about two days too short on sleep to follow Rodney when he's rambling like this. Wonder if he's been remembering to eat? Anyways, depending on how this all goes down, I may need you to cover my six when I hightail it for the control room. Got it?"

"Run, shoot repeat, we're good"

Some days, John was extremely grateful for Ronon's no nonsense view of life. "Alright, a quick phone call and we're off then. Major Lorne? Heard you still have a bit of a party going on up there. In about thirty seconds Ronon and myself will be joining you courtesy of the transporter and would be ever so grateful if you kept shooting the enemy and avoiding turning your fire in our general direction."

Lorne crackled over the radio "You'll be welcome guests up here sir, we'll have the doors waiting and the lights on see you in 30"

With that, John and Ronon dashed to the transporter. Sadly, the sight awaiting their arrival did not surprise them. Stepping out of the transporter Ronon and John immediately had to roll, John to the right and Ronon to the left, as incoming enemy fire strafed across their corner of the hallway. Wounded were lying behind ramshackle defences and John could once again spot at least one marine who hadn't made it. After a very quick situational assessment, John and Ronon joined Lorne's men guns blazing.

The battle was slow but through stubborn determination and home field advantage John, Ronon, and Lorne's team began to steadily gain the upper hand. Lorne had set up solid defences given the circumstances and the extra support of John, Ronon, as well as half of SGA-6 saw fewer and fewer Vodeen left capable of defending themselves much less continuing an all out offensive.

Just when the worst seemed to be over, John looked over his shoulder and saw one of the last dozen Vodeen soldiers aiming his weapon directly at Lorne. Quickly taking stock, John lunged at the major, pushing him out of harm's way. Ronon, for his part, looked over just in time to see John take the intended hit and fall to the ground blood pooling under his leg, one arm wrapped around his chest, and a pained expression on his face. Ronon wasn't a doctor but knew that that much blood loss combined with the injuries and activities of the last few days meant John (and to be honest himself) needed a visit with Doc Carson, the sooner the better.

Looking at John laying there, attempting to grab hold of his P90 and rejoin the fight, Ronon was ticked. He had spent the last week protecting Sheppard, knowing that somehow, John's survival was vital to Atlantis' survival and after fighting this hard nobody was going to make him fail now. In a flash of movement Ronon jumped over the defensive wall and began firing at the remaining soldiers like a man possessed. At first, Lorne's marines were stunned by Ronon's unorthodox reaction and it's apparently status as an effective technique with the last enemy soldiers starting to drop. Seeing their chance, the marine's began firing. Five minutes later, the battle was over, Atlantis had won.

Looking back, Elizabeth was still struck by the severity of the Vodeen aftermath. It has taken one week of steady repairs before basic operations were functioning properly, minor repairs were scheduled to be ongoing for the next several weeks, although it would probably take months to return Atlantis to her pre-Vodeen state (even with the emergency teams sent from SGC). Including allies and air support, 49 were reported dead, dozens upon dozens were injured, and the ZPM energy reserves had gone from full to 25% which was at least enough to keep them comfortably running in the near future. If not for the last minute air support of the Daedelus, the valiant efforts of the expedition, the almost suicidal efforts of SGA-1, and the unwavering ground support from the Athosians and other allied worlds, Elizabeth was convinced Atlantis would not have survived the assault.

Surprisingly, however, the entire affair had a far greater affect on the overall long-term morale of the expedition team. Rather than returning to standard procedures, as was the routine after such events (Elizabeth wondered when events like this had become the norm), many of the team fell into a deep depression. All through Atlantis, people were noted suffering from anxiety, hopelessness, and a perpetual feeling of being overwhelmed. Kate had become so busy trying to cope with the overload she was beginning to consider sending for a therapist herself.

Elizabeth was worried. Could it be that the Vodeen siege was the final straw? Since their arrival, her expedition had been witness to wonders and horrors alike which would stretch the capabilities of any person. Perhaps she had been fooling herself to think the team would always remain resilient against the mental onslaught which accompanied life in Pegasus. Atlantis was in desperate need of someone, something, to restore the hope and life so obviously missing from post-battle existence, but where amidst the battered city and broken crew would such aid come from? If pushed, Elizabeth herself would have to admit that she was not okay, and knew that very few, if any in the city could honestly answer that question in any other manner.

It was into all this that SGA-1 decided to launch their very own and decidedly necessary mini-revolution, the antics of which, off the records, still made Elizabeth simultaneously giggle and feel an indescribable sense of gratitude for the team that continued to pull their collective butts out of the fire, against all rational laws.

A.N. Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading! You guys are amazing and your reviews make me write faster :D (yep, a shameless plug, what can I say you guys make me smile and I love reading your comments).

And as always thanks to Renisanz for making this grammatically readable!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer *still don't own them, see earlier chapters for details*

A.N. Ack! I'm so sorry this took so long, files got misplaced, life got weird, and I couldn't get a chapter returned from beta to save my life (that means this is totally unbeta'd chapter). Next chapter should be much quicker and it is the end of this little saga. Which means I'll be restarting _Chasing Hope_. Comments are very much appreciated!

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. . .

. . .

The minute Ronan confirmed the last Vodeen soldier was down, he ran to Sheppard, scooped him up, and transported the Colonel to the infirmary as quickly as possible. John mercifully passed out as soon as Ronan picked him up, his seemingly endless reserves having finally been depleted beyond what his body could handle.

Upon arriving in the infirmary, Ronan found the first empty cot, laid Sheppard out, and stood surveying the scene. The earth term Sheppard often used to describe McKay's office "organized chaos" seemed to be the only adequate descriptor. Everywhere nurses were scrambling: treating the wounded, performing triage, and Ronan saw a few moving yet another covered body in the direction of the make-shift morgue (the current morgue was never meant to hold the number of dead the siege had produced). The doctors on site were also scattered. Ronan was fairly sure extra personnel had come down from the Daedalus to assist with the dozens of wounded he saw filling the infirmary and its temporary wards to capacity. Some staff, Ronan briefly noticed, were wearinf SG patches. Had Earth sent backup through the gate while he and Sheppard were off com to stem the tide and allow Atlantis' perm staff some peace of mind? Finally, out of nowhere, Ronan heard the voice he was seeking.

"What do ye think you're doing lass? No, I sent you for a wee lie down an hour ago. You're naught good to anybody pretending to be the living dead, m'dear. Rachel, would you please see to this patient while Allison takes her rest period. There's some good lasses. Now what do we have he . . . Somebody get me a bed" Carson had spotted Ronan covered in lacerations, wavering on his feet, and leaning unattended in the doorway.

"Come on lad why don't we get you lying down. What we're you thinking just standing in the" Carson looked down and spotted Sheppard "Oh m'poor boy, what have ye done to yourself this time? Well that certainly explains things." Carson leaned over and began assessing the wounded Colonel. " Rachel I'm afraid I need you here. We have a priority patient needing immediate surgery.

Ronan, it's alright lad, the Colonel's safe we'll take good care of him. You did well. Now, Dr. Fisher, here, is on loan from the Daedalus, she'll fix you up right as rain and we'll have you bedded down in a corner with your team in no time"

"Team?" Ronon blinked wearily as Carson's image began to waver in front of him.

"Aye, Teyla came through her surgery like a trooper and is recovering nicely from her tally of injuries, which, something tells me, is about the same length as your own and Colonel Sheppard's here. Dr. McKay, on the other hand, joined our party about 20 minutes ago. Seems you've all rubbed off on him and the lad thought he could go without proper food or sleep. He's in the bed next to Teyla at the moment being treating for his hyperglycaemia and exhaustion. We're hoping to release him tomorrow if he responds well, to be perfectly frank we need the space." Carson frowned as he gestured towards the crammed recovery ward but quickly perked up as he spotted Dr. Fisher making her way through the crowded aisles

"Aye Dr. Fisher, now there you are. This is Ronan, be good for the lovely Doctor, Ronan. I'll be back when we have John settled to give you an update."

With that Carson quickly turned to the OR where John lie prepped and waiting for his surgery.

A few hours later, Carson heaved a sigh of relief. Colonel Sheppard would be on crutches and very sore (though odds were he'd deny it) but he would make a full recovery. The bullet had chipped the bone in his lower leg and while painful and temporarily disabling, the injury wasn't life threatening. In fact, SGA-1, even with their penchant for the suicidal risks in the face of extreme danger, had made it through the siege in reasonably decent health.

Col. Sheppard had his leg wound, 3 bruised ribs, 2 cracked ribs, the usual lacerations/bruises/ strained muscles/sprained muscles, along with four dislocated fingers with a dislocated ankle which thankfully , for the perpetually fidgety man, was on the same leg as the bullet wound. Teyla had also suffered the usual strains/cuts/bruises, in addition to the after effects of the wraith stunner, and her bullet wound, the impact of which had dislocated her shoulder. Ronan, rounding out the party had suffered a concussion (aggravated by delayed treatment and inappropriate activities), 3 bullet grazes that were easily stitched by Dr. Fisher, a dislocated knee, and again the usual assortment of minor injuries.

Finishing up their prognosis were the inescapable diagnosis' of exhaustion and imbalances from improper nutrition right across the board. Carson was going to be keeping all of them as special guests for most, if not all of the week, to ensure proper healing from the mule-headed bunch.

To everyone's surprise, SGA-1 actually obeyed Carson's orders for the first 26 hours of their stay. Of course, they were all sleeping but the medical team took their wins where they could with the infamous team. Even after waking, the group had been content to write reports and monitor the wrap up/clean-up efforts, now headed under Major Lorne, from their beds in the infirmary, unwilling to admit just how much the last week's events had taken out of them or how grateful they were for the presence of Carson's good drugs.

However, by hour 26 of their week-long stay, boredom had started to set in and reports of low morale among the personnel, which had been building since before the attack, had started to surface, causing John's concern for his people to hit new levels. In true SGA fashion, SGA-1 had responded accordingly and began their plans for escape. After all, they reasoned, McKay had been released, Lorne confirmed 67% of the remaining hostiles had been already captured with the final 33%'s capture estimated done by this time tomorrow, plus they all felt great (at least compared to when they first arrived). Ronan and John were sure Carson was just being overprotective again.

As far as Ronan was concerned, Operation: Escape Alcatraz was a go.

Okay that tears it; John was hereby banning everyone from naming anything without permission ever again. Although John had to admit Alcatraz sounded cooler than the majority of potential code names they had considered and Ronan certainly looked pleased that his name was chosen (it was always a plus when Chewie was happy). John, for one, didn't want to be around when Carson found out his infirmary was, once again, being compared with a prison.

Over the next week, few repair crews were not surprised to see a banged up Teyla (complete with uncomfortable white sling) stopping by to lend an ear or a cup of coffee, a slower Ronan, in enough bandages to do a serious mummy impersonation helping out wherever he was needed and allowed to pitch in (not that the crews didn't want his help, they just didn't know how they would get him back to the infirmary if he passed out for some reason), a complaining Rodney running around, muttering and trying to fix the disasters caused by repair crews, and a limping John hobbling around on crutches, pitching in, making jokes, wooing Atlantis into aiding the crews, and helping the expedition start to heal.

At first, to say Carson was not amused by SGA-1's miraculous and constant disappearing tricks would be an understatement. Worrying about the mischief his most frequent patients could cause, not to mention the damage they could do to themselves, was enough to stir the Scotsman into a frenzy his team rarely witnessed. In response, he began assigning spare security teams to locate his slippery wards and guards to watch them upon recapture, all the while displaying his displeasure through the muttered, untranslatable Gaelic phrases which had become all too common during the Atlantis mission.

Rather than being discouraged by Carson's efforts the team took his attempts to recapture as a challenge and created the Atlantis medical wards version of hide and seek. After two days, loath as they were to admit it. Elizabeth, Carson, and Kate were noticing a difference in the city's behaviour. People were smiling, there was less anxiety, and night time was for sleeping again.

As SGA-1 weren't at any risk to themselves (in all honesty, they were in the infirmary for pain management and to keep them from getting their wounds infected or reinjured during cleanup. The team really was a trouble magnet and wouldn't be much physical help during the repair period anyway), there was such obviously positive results, and it appeared his guards were secretly double agents recruited by SGA-1, Carson silently eased up his efforts to re-incarcerate the team and ramped up the theatrics of trying to catch them to everyone's amusement, surprisingly even Carson's (who found the yelling therapeutic).

Ronan was the first to notice the change in Carson Crusaders as McKay had deemed them (maybe Sheppard was right about people naming things, Ronan thought). Little things in their behaviour like pulling back, ignoring obvious clues, only half-heartedly searching and in obviously vacant areas had made Ronan question the sincerity of their efforts, not that he minded. John confirmed his suspicions when they met up for dinner. John had witnessed some of the guards placing bets in the recently formed Hide and seek betting pool. Somehow, that clinched the deal for him.

Realising that their antics were having the intended effect, and that they had received Carson's and their guards unofficial blessing, SGA-1 began to have more fun with their hiding adventures, even the usual obedient Teyla was witnessed planning out escapes with unbridled glee.

Ronan took up hiding in the various Science labs around the designated safe zones, helping them reorganize their battered labs and learning more about the strange people he often avoided. Ronan was pleased to learn that not all scientists on Atlantis had Rodney's personality and was surprised to find out that many of them had common interests to his own. The biggest shock was the revelation of a martial arts group in Atlantis, membership of which came solely from Atlantis' science community. Ronan had set up a time to join them for a (gentle) practice once he was released from his bandages.

Prior to Carson's unofficial approval, John had originally decided to hide in his office due to his slight issue with mobility. However, he soon realised it was too good when boredom struck and forced John to move to greener pastures (or more specifically a botany lab he had never explored). Over the next few days, John proved his ingenuity, making the most of his hide and seek vacation. In between "dodging" the guard John was able to keep up on city business, help make repairs in the chair, chat with expedition members in every division, and once the city got the all secure on day three John had even found time to execute some good natured pranks that were mostly well received (Kavanaugh apparently had no sense of humour, how had the poor guy had ended up serving a tour as a Daedalus scientist John couldn't fathom but pitied Caldwell and Hermiod just the same). Most importantly, however, John was just present, a living symbol that things would be okay.

Teyla, recognizing her injured state and the potential dangers, stuck mainly to the kitchens and mess hall (receiving some much needed cooking lessons during her stay). During the day she could often be seen talking with hungry expedition members or delivering a well-appreciated coffee to tired workers in the control room and surrounding areas.

As spirits began to rise, betting pools quickly grew to include the team's escape methods, hiding spaces, recapture time, and Carson's method of retaliation. Meals now involved dramatic recaptures as SGA-1 stopped to get "real food" (somehow the food in the infirmary always seemed to taste worse even if it was from the same place). Stories of who had hosted an SGA-1 team member and where during the day were eagerly and animatedly swapped by fellow expedition members. The city had remembered how to laugh; now they just had to remember how to live.

On day four of the game, John decided to hide out with Elizabeth, helping her reorganize her office and providing some reassurance to the unusually pensive city leader. While the whole city was still on edge, and understandably so, Elizabeth hadn't shown any signs of starting to move on and John was beginning to worry. Elizabeth was a good friend, like the older sister he had asked Santa for when he was 6, and seeing her like this troubled him.

John hobbled into Elizabeth's office and took a seat on the only clean spot in the room, the corner of the desk. Elizabeth, having trailed slightly behind making sure that John was steady on his crutches, started to pick up her belongings and file them away where they belonged.

"You missed a spot" John said with a smirk, 2 minutes after she had begun.

"Thank you John, I would never have guessed" Elizabeth responded with a slightly sarcastic edge "You know, you could help instead of just commenting."

John put on his best wounded puppy dog look "Me? But I'm injured, no good to anyone" then lighting up in another grin "besides I'm too lazy. Everyone knows that"

"Somehow I don't believe you" and Elizabeth went back to working in silence.

"So am I going to have to sit here throwing wise cracks at you all afternoon or are you going to tell me what's wrong so we can sit and joke together?"

"Nothing is wrong. John. I have a city to run and we are in a vulnerable position right now. Forgive me if I can't take the time to sit down and make jokes!"

John looked into Elizabeth's face and saw the fear in her eyes "We scared you this time didn't we?" he asked softly

"Do you realise how many letters home I have to write? To families who will never know why their sons and daughters actually died? How many are lying downstairs wounded? How many did we almost lose, should have lost? Do you realise how close we came this time? We shouldn't be here John. The city's in disrepair, everything's a disaster and we've got what days, hours before we run into the next fanatical society that wants us dead?"

"I know Elizabeth."

"How can you know, how can you have any idea what it's like?" Elizabeth was beyond reason. All of the fear and frustration, the disappointment and discouragement that had been building throughout the siege came raging out at the only target in range, John.

"Because I have those letters to write too, I found some of those bodies and watched others die, helpless to save them. I spend every night surrounded by the wounded in the infirmary. I feel Atlantis hurting in ways most can't understand. Hell, I don't really understand it myself. I know that even with everyone working one hundred and ten percent it'll take more time than I care to admit before she's back to herself." John's voice never rose as he spoke and his eyes never broke contact with Elizabeth's

"As for the next fanatical society, Knowing my team's luck we'll probably be the ones to piss 'em off and land ourselves right back in Carson's care. I have reports coming back from my men, every half hour telling me just how screwed we are Elizabeth. I understand"

Elizabeth froze

"But this I do know. We're still breathing. It's not much, it's only a start and you can't stay content on the starting line. These people need to laugh, they need to hope. This galaxy isn't safe but the good things in life often require us to take risks along the way. Elizabeth, our lives are uncertain and nothing's guaranteed out here but you don't have to do this alone. You've got a senior staff to support you, and friends who care, let us help you." Having said his piece, John looked at Elizabeth's newly cleaned chair plopped down and grinned gently.

With that familiar smirk staring up at her, Elizabeth felt like she was waking up for the first time in days. Yes, she was in charge of the city but so was John, she wasn't alone. They had survived and she had been living for survival for too long. It was time to start living again. John seemed confidant, unshakeable, in his belief that all would be okay, and somehow at that moment, even if she had wanted to she wouldn't have been able to disagree.

Sure enough, here she stood three days later, and three weeks since the whole fiasco started and they were okay. Atlantis and her crew were healing (albeit slowly) and life was returning to Pegasus SOP. Elizabeth was sure she would continue to smile as she remembered the week's hijinks for some time. Suddenly, she spotted and waved to Ronan, Teyla, and Rodney who were all heading off to the mess for a late breakfast before abruptly realising that John wasn't with them.

"Good Morning, and how are you all of you today?" Elizabeth called out to the trio.

"Good morning Dr. Weir, we are well. Ronan was released from the infirmary last night while John and I were released this morning, although still confined to light duties" Teyla replied with a smile on her face

"I suppose this means the end of hide and seek saga? That will relieve Carson I'm sure. I would hate to have to break in a new CMO. Where is John though? Shouldn't he be enjoying his official release into 'freedom'?" queried Elizabeth

"Mainland" Ronan grunted

"Excuse me" Elizabeth replied worriedly, looking altogether like she wanted to jump off her balcony and join the trio below in her panic "did you say he went to the mainland? Look sneaking out of the infirmary is one thing but going out of the city, so soon after his injuries . . . flying a jumper . . . I need to go stop him."

"It's too late for that Elizabeth" Rodney stated matter of fact "Besides he does this after every failed mission or major attack, always has. Chuck and/or Atlantis wave him through without anyone officially knowing. The way that city protects him I swear it's like she's his mother or something"

"Are you becoming jealous of the Colonel's connection with the city again Rodney?" Teyla asked with a twinkle in her eye, secretly relieved at the level of normalcy which had returned to her adopted family.

"No" Rodney was almost whining, almost.

"Wait a minute you mean to tell me that our military commander was not only able to get a jumper off this base, officially unnoticed by anyone besides you three and possibly Chuck, but has been doing so for over two years!"

"I am sorry Dr. Weir, but the Colonel said it was something he needed to do. He promised he would only rest and eat some lunch; he just needed the time away. John does not ask for much and only when absolutely necessary. Through evaluating his mental state both before and after past excursions, it was my conclusion that these trips were vital to his health and well-being. I could not say no" Teyla calmly explained with a thoughtful look in her eye.

Elizabeth was visibly startled by SGA-1's revelations. John had been sneaking out for years? What did this mean? Shaken, Dr. Weir retreated with her now stone cold tea into the sanctuary of her office to puzzle over the mystery of Atlantis' military commander.

Rodney and Ronan looked at each other and shrugged. Both knew John would return when he felt like it and they would all be better off for it. Besides they had more important concerns than their CO's mini vacations. Today was blue jello day in the mess. With matching grins, Ronan and Rodney set out to embark on a carefully thought out mission meant to ensure that SGA-1's jello aficionados' got their fair share (which essentially consisted of Ronan looking scary and threatening anyone who tried to cut in line).

Teyla on the other hand, simply looked up towards the sky and silently pondered her friend's behaviour. She knew John was not the type to share openly of himself, at least of things he did not want presented to the public. However, she also knew that despite a stubborn and self-sacrificing streak John would never shirk his duties to Atlantis nor would he cause his friends unnecessary worry. "Come back to us safely John. May your travels once again grant you the solace you seek."


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer *Stargate still belongs to the powers that be and not little ol' me. This is just for entertainment*

A.N. Thank you for all who stuck with me through this story! Hope you enjoyed it. For all who are interested as soon as life settles down a little bit I'll be restarting _Chasing Hope_. Peace all.

. . .

Meanwhile in a jumper not so far away, John was putting the vehicle through its paces, soaring, diving, speeding along, kissing the sky and chasing the sun. His ankle and ribs still hurt but the Doc and experience said they would for awhile. For now, John just needed escape and that involved flying. After completing his journey to the mainland, John parked near his favourite spot, grabbed his knapsack, and began the trek to his intended destination.

Upon moving to any new location, since he was a young boy, John had always found a place he could call a sanctuary. He had had sanctuaries he and his mother would escape to as a child, sanctuaries in the military, a sanctuary on Atlantis, and another one here on the mainland as well. As much as he loved Atlantis, sometimes he needed to be away from the responsibility and demands of that life. The moment he had first laid eyes on the mainland clearing, he knew he had found the right place.

It was a small clearing, framed by some beautiful old trees that begged to be climbed (not that he would be climbing them today, although in the past he could recall some amazing naps tucked in those branches), some rocks to sit on (amazingly comfy after they had been heated by the sun during summer months), a sandy patch perfect for running fingers through and building little cities, but best of all it bordered on a cliff looking out at the ocean. It was like heaven.

Once he had made himself comfortable John opened up his knapsack pulling out the final pieces to his retreat: a picnic blanket, a canteen of water and a turkey sandwich. Everyone on base knew of John's love for turkey sandwiches. In fact, some had been known to save the precious commodity as thanks for all the Colonel did to protect them. This particular sandwich had been saved from last night's supper for the colonel by Zalenka's team, in gratitude for his recent actions during the siege. Now, John by no means looked for this kind thanks, he was just doing his duty, but hey a turkey sandwich is a turkey sandwich and he did have a trip in need of one. Not to mention Zalenka had muttered something in Czech that had sounded suspiciously like "stupid colonels can take care of entire cities but not feed themselves" when John had motioned to refuse. John's mother hen instinct had gone to full alert at the man's frustrated ramblings. He had quickly thanked the muttering Czech and gingerly backed away.

In reality, John was positive most people would laugh if they knew why he really retreated after major attacks or missions gone wrong, heck after meeting Todd he'd camped out for the entire weekend. If Kate ever saw this side of the air force Colonel he knew he'd have won himself a trip to Heightmyer's house of horror. Last thing John wanted was to have someone else traipsing through his mind. It was bad enough he had to live there.

But how had John come to value this space so fiercely?

John let his mind drift back to the summer he was 12.

. . .

He knew he was dead. Dad had said one more fight and he was grounded for the entire summer. Now here he was sneaking in the back door, obviously injured and with a promised phone call home from his teachers. If he could just make it upstairs, he could delay the inevitable long enough to come up with a reason dad might understand or at least pretend to listen to. John had reasons for his fights, he always did. That girl was being picked on and no one was doing anything. They all just stood and watched. John didn't know Sarah well but he knew they were classmates. To John that meant they were on the same team and you don't leave people behind, plus come'on the bully was hitting a girl! So John decided to step in and politely informed the bullies that they would no longer be allowed to contact Sarah. Apparently, they disagreed and a fight broke out. John regretted nothing; the smile on Sarah's face had been worth it but still losing his summer was going to hurt. Two more step and he'd be at the stairs to his room . . .

"John? Is that you? Oh John" Amanda exhaled in dismay.

It was his mother. She had taken one look at him and knew. Amanda was a compassionate person, a free spirit, and the most stubborn human being John knew. She rarely agreed with her husband's disciplinary tactics or his parenting methods (the man was always either absent or arguing) pleading long and hard to convince Patrick to change his ways but to no avail. Making a snap decision, she dropped what she was doing and made a new plan.

"John I need you to go upstairs and get cleaned up, quickly please, and then join me we are going out."

Confused, John quickly did as he was told. He went upstairs, changed his clothes, washed up, and bandaged a particularly nasty cut before joining his mom downstairs who was now carrying a knapsack with a smile on her face. Together the two went into the garage, hopped on their bikes and headed off. After a few minutes John realised where they were going and began to relax. Not far from their house was a little park that his mom often spent time painting. John had many happy memories playing on the playground, goofing off in the trees, and enjoying the pond during hot, hazy summer days. Best of all it was close enough to a small airfield that you could see planes landing every hour or so depending on the day.

Upon arriving at the park, John and his mother went straight to the water's edge. Here, she unpacked a picnic blanket which John deftly unfolded and once they were seated she pulled out a thermos of water, two apples and two turkey sandwiches. John grinned happily. Turkey was one of his favourites.

"So, why the special treatment, mom, not that I mind or all, it's just, you gotta know I was in a fight, and, well, the whole block knows dad's opinions on my 'activities'" John winced in remembrance of his father's last verbal thrashing. "Now mind you I'd do it again in a heartbeat, Sarah doesn't deserve to be bullied . . . no one does, and I'll keep doing it. I won't let em get left behind" John was getting more passionate with each word until his mother put up her hand with a smile

"I know John, and you may not believe it but I am proud of you. I always wanted you to be someone who stood up for what they believed in, protect those who are weaker, and you have become that sort of person. I do wish you would come home a little more intact" she shook her head ruefully looking at John's split lip and blackening eye "but I know why you do it. That's why you got to come here, think back John. When have we come to the park?"

John thought back recalling each of the happy occasions again and realised they all occurred soon after or right before a confrontation with his father. He turned to look at his mom, an expression filled with both suspicion and wonder.

Amanda laughed heartily, though with a hint of sadness in her eyes. " There's the brilliant mind I know, yes, John I have always wanted you to have a safe place, or if you'll allow me to be chessy" John nodded " a happy place, one where your pain and sadness could be replaced by good memories that will sustain you. I know our house doesn't hold much peace or happiness for you but here . . ." Amanda paused to watch a plane come in for landing to John's obvious joy. "I hope this place can be that for you, at least for awhile."

"Cool" John replied although whether to the plane or his mother, Amanda wasn't sure.

"John? Promise me something?" Amanda asked hesitantly.

"What?"

Amanda looked worriedly at her younger son, he was growing up so fast, and ruffled his hair "Promise me you'll always find a place like this, where you can go and be at rest, promise me you'll find people you can be for you when I can't."

"When you can't? Mom that's a long ways off, you're talking nonsense" John responded forcefully, unwilling to even consider life without his beloved mother" Amanda looked ready to interrupt before John jumped back in "I'll do my best mom. Promise. I like this park and the idea of a place to be happy in, so finding other places I like to be in shouldn't be hard, people, on the other hand, may be a bit more challenging, I'm not exactly Mr. Popularity ya know."

"Amanda looked relieved "That's good enough for me John, I know you're a man of your word."

The two spent the rest of their supper watching the planes, eating their sandwiches and enjoying each other's company, safe from the outside world until reality demanded their return.

John shook himself from his memories as though waking from a dream. He had kept his word to his mom and no matter where he had gone he had always found his "sanctuary," usually close to some water and always involving flying. He smiled at the realisation that, in her way, mom had known what John would need well before anyone else and had helped provide for her son in ways only a mother could.

The past month had been bad. There were days during the attack that John was convinced all was lost, even as he encouraged his men to keep fighting. There were days after the attack that the depression of the base threatened to overwhelm his senses. John was no stranger to depression and had been visited by the condition periodically over his life. To be honest until yesterday, he had been worried for Atlantis, now he just worried for himself. Lieutenant Colonels weren't allowed to break. Military Commanders were expected to be at least mostly together. John knew his unorthodox command methods were part of Atlantis's success but was still amazed that some of the more creative stress relievers he had created for the base (including this week's hide n' seek) hadn't gotten him called back to Earth or at least assigned a temporary shadow. This worry had been what drove John to the mainland. It's what found him leaning against a large, native tree, finishing up a turkey sandwich, and pondering that wonderful afternoon from another life. But John wondered, had he really kept his word to his mother in every sense?

Yes, John had found places to retreat, to "indulge" in some self-care (though admittedly chances to escape had been especially scarce in these last few years) but as for people? After his mom had died, he had pushed people away. Nobody understood, they didn't want to know the hell that was life under the old man's roof. So John learned new masks, new ways to keep people away. The air force wasn't much better as far as people went, sure he had some friends but then Afghanistan happened and John wasn't just alone, he was damaged and abandoned. He had been left behind. That was the main reason John picked Antarctica. Not only was it as far from Afghanistan as he could manage (which he had hoped would help with the dreams and memories) but it's was Antarctica for cryin' out loud. How could he be hurt by the people around him when it was the least populated continent on the planet! John suddenly realised he had become as skilled at hiding his true self as he was at flying.

Antarctica had been great, like one giant happy place, John remembered wistfully. Sure a little lonely, but it was better than things had been. John liked the icy terrain, the feeling of sky surrounding him. It was perfect until he sat in that damn chair. How was he supposed to have known he had some weird gene?

Carson had gotten a sample of his father's DNA (though he wouldn't tell John how) and Patrick was a carrier but nowhere near as strong as John, Carson was sure John's supergene had come through his mother. Now that made John smile, if it was true, that meant that in a way his mother had given him his two greatest gifts he had received: his life, and his second chance because, to him, that's what Atlantis was, a second chance for life.

John still remembered first arriving on Atlantis, the feel of the city, her welcoming hum in his mind, it felt like home, not a place to live and the people.. . . Okay, to be honest when it came to the expedition members, in the beginning, John had acted as usual. He had buried himself in work, ran some pranks, deflected with jokes, anything to distract others from who John really was, but these people, his team, his family, weren't so easily fooled.

Teyla had worked her way into John's life during Bantos practice. During the long hours of being thoroughly beaten by a girl, John had started to open up to the Athosian and she, similarly, had started to share about life on Athos. Before John knew it, he realised he would not only die for this woman (dying for someone had never been a big issue for John) but he would live for her too.

Rodney had made his way through John's defences in the lab after hours of "here, touch this" and "What do you think you're doing major". It was kinda like having that brother who annoyed you all the time but you knew it was only because he was afraid to let you know he cares. John and Rodney never really shared too deeply (Rodney was about as open as John but used whining and superiority as his preferred method of deflection). Somehow, against the odds, the two had still manage to forge an unshakeable bond.

With Ronan, he shared the warrior's code. He wasn't sure when Ronan had started to breach his walls and to be honest he didn't think Ronan would ever become as intertwined as Teyla or Rodney but then, to be honest, John didn't think he's get that far with Ronan either. They were close but in a different way. For them, the pivotal moment had been when Ronan realised John was willing to fight when the time was right. Now to be fair Ronan didn't know about John's fight happy past and couldn't understand the method to John's madness. John was content that, at least now, Ronan respected his decisions and his role as team leader, the past few days had certainly proven that. With a simple "I'm lazy" their friendship had been sealed and Ronan had unknowingly entered into John's family.

Family? Yeah, that's the best word to describe it. SGA-1 was a family. A quirky family with lots of baggage, mind you, but still a family. Could it be possible that John had filled his mother's wishes without even realising what he was doing? John slowly packed up his knapsack and began heading back to the jumper. Pausing at the bottom of the hill, John looked back towards the hidden clearing and said a quick, silent goodbye and thank you to his mother before heading back to Atlantis with a lighter heart, a clearer mind, and a great new idea for a cross city game after watching some birds on the flight back. Carson (with possible aid from Teyla and Elizabeth) might kill him, he thought with a smile, but Rodney, Ronan, and Lorne would be up for the new game without question.

As he piloted the jumper into its bay, John was not surprised to see his team standing off to one side with a worried Elizabeth and an annoyed Carson right beside them. Okay, so maybe an unauthorized mainland trip was not the greatest way to ease into light duty. John grabbed his crutches and hobbled out to meet the crowd who immediately started to verbally bombard him.

"Laddie, flying a jumper and going for a mainland excursion does not qualify light duty! Do ye have any idea of the damage you could have done? Are ye completely daft man?" exclaimed Carson.

"John, what is this about getting Atlantis to hide said mainland excursions?" interjected Elizabeth.

"Seeing as you are about to be grounded Sheppard. Do you think you might be able to come and initialize some items for me, my scientists found a new lab and we're facing some, um, difficulties in unravelling its purpose" Rodney asked, obviously on the verge of begging.

"Knew he'd come back. You people worry too much" muttered Ronan.

"Welcome home John. Are you well?" Teyla asked softly while offering a hand to steady John against the onslaught.

John smirked at the groups welcome; let's be honest they were acting pretty funny. Between Rodney, Elizabeth, and Carson practically knocking him over, Ronan's quiet disbelief at their display, Teyla gentle concern and warm welcome, and his precarious balancing act, he was certain they made quite the interesting show.

"Yeah, I think I got my head on straight Teyla, thanks." John replied with a soft smile.

"Sorry Doc, 'lizbeth just needed to get away for a bit, sort some stuff out, it's been a long month." He looked directly at the two with challenge but also understanding of their concern.

"Rodney, of course I'll touch a bunch of doodads for you but only if Ronan can come along. I've got the greatest idea for a new game I want to explain to him." John finished with a grin.

"As long as you're all right lad, we do tend to get worried. You'll stop by for your meds tonight?" Carson asked figuring that during med pickup he could do a double check on the Colonel's wellbeing. However, he certainly couldn't deny the lad looked better than he had all month. John nodded a silent affirmative, knowing that the doc was just worried and realising that after a jumper flight and picnic lunch Carson's drugs would be a welcome part of his bedtime prep that night.

Elizabeth blushed at her obvious over concern for the military commander. With a quick nod and a slightly embarrassed smile, she left to review on Atlantis' jumper protocols and procedures for next time. Although, considering she was going against John and Atlantis herself, Elizabeth silently wondered if it was worth the effort.

Rodney and Ronan had perked up at John's statement about a new game until Rodney realised whatever game Sheppard had cooked up would probably involve injuries, most likely to his person. Come to think of it, that would probably explained Carson's initial disgust and Ronan's glee at John's revelation. Teyla just stood by John's side, supporting him silently with her presence, grateful that her family was together and whole again.

John smiled as they left the jumper bay a few minutes later, feeling a deep sense of peace. Atlantis was humming her welcome and, if John was right, concern for his wellbeing (seriously how many mother hens could on man get!), Ronan was teasing Rodney about John's new game, and Teyla walked beside him matching his hobbled pace with a look of long suffering at the other two's antics.

Yeah, life in Pegasus was difficult and sometimes things went ways John couldn't explain or predict but John knew so long as he had his family beside him, they would keep fighting and life would be worth its risks.


End file.
